Beware the Hyperbole

Recently, I was reading the opening of what I thought was an article in Fast Company.  After re-reading the first paragraph several times trying to make sense of it, I stopped to check the byline, thinking "this is not typical Fast Company style; there is way too much hyperbole." 

Ha - no buy line, but there was a subtle notice at the top "Special Advertising Section".  You almost fooled me, Montreal.  I might have read the "article" if you hadn't worked so hard to convince me how awesome you were in a single, convoluted sentence.

Nonsense Tip

While black mulch may sound like a good idea at the garden center, it will not seem so great when you are constantly mopping black paw prints off the white tile. Pass on the colored mulch...it is, in fact, dyed.

Nonsense Tip

Don't attempt to stand upright on top of bleachers directly under a ceiling fan.

Nonsense Tip

When you are schlepping boxes all over the place - to The Salvation Army, to storage, etc, wear actual shoes. Flip flops are not appropriate footwear for manual labor.

Nonsense Tip

Do not, under any circumstances, leave your purse open and unattended in the sink the ladies' room in the busiest Starbucks on the planet. Take it in to the stall with you, please. Really, you're just begging to be robbed and watching your purse sit there, helplessly is quite stressful for the rest of us.

Nonsense Tip of the.....Week?

Be careful when publicly committing to doing something frequently, like say, once a week.

Nonsene Tips

This is much a request as it is a tip. When driving in the city, or really anywhere with oncoming traffic and/or cars in front of you, use your low-beams, please. I know your "brights" make it easier for you to see, but you are blinding the people in front you.

Nonsense Tip of the Week

When teaching puppies to walk on a leash, start out with one puppy at a time. For the first walk, do not attempt to walk all three puppies at once. Trust me.

Nonsense Tip of the Week

Always open a new bottle of club soda over the sink (or a bathtub or some other device with a drain). It will always explode. ALWAYS.

Nonsense Tip of the Week

100% Cranberry juice is undrinkable. Trust me, it cannot be diluted with anything that makes it remotely palatable, even Grey Goose.

Nonsense Tip of the Week

Buy a wallet (or some sort of money containment device), grown ups should not go through life keeping bills crumpled in pockets, loose floating in purses or in tattered envelopes.

Nonsense Tip of the Week

It is never okay to let your child run around a public restroom barefoot. EVER

Nonsense Tip of the Week

When you are the only person singing along with the soloist performing the "Star Spangled Banner" at a public event, STOP.