Where's Ashton?

It's a key in lock, big deal, right?

Not exactly. It's a key STUCK in a lock.

Let's back to the (sort of) beginning.

I locked myself out of the house at 5:30 a.m. Friday morning. (Big THANK YOU to Trix for bringing my spare key over). So, Sunday I set out to Home Depot to buy an idiot-proof door knob. Sadly, they do not carry idiot-proof door knobs at Home Depot. But, I decided to get a few more extra keys...one for the gym bag, one for a neighbor, etc, while I did a wider search for an idiot-proof door knob. Easy-breezy, right? (ha!) Not so fast; when I tested the key, it got stuck in the lock. STUCK.

So, after work today I took the key, in the door knob, back to Home Depot where the very nice man gave me a new door knob keyed to my existing house key and three new keys. So, I go home to install the new door knob. One (minor) problem. I couldn't open the door without the old door knob, which the nice man kept to return in the place of the new door knob they gave me. So, I had to go back to Home Depot to get my old door knob.

The nice man wasn't so nice at this point. First he looked at me like I was an idiot when I told him I couldn't get the door open without the old door knob and said "you have to change the switch plate." Um, dude, I can't change the switch plate if I CAN'T OPEN THE DOOR." (Side note, I managed to not loose my cool at all, even offered to bring the old door knob back this weekend.) He was very concerned that he wouldn't have anything to return to his vendor in place of the door knob he gave me. After I offered to bring it back, he just threw up his hands and walked away telling me to keep it. I'm impressed with myself for not loosing my cool since I think he may have forgotten that Home Depot CAUSED my problem.

Then when I get home to try to install the door knob, I discover that my foster, Buffy, has decided to redecorate the spare room with what was my Gone With The Wind Poster, glass and all. So, rearrange dogs, clean up glass, install new door knob...the fun never ends.

So, I ask again, WHERE IS ASHTON (Kutcher)? Surely, I'm being punk'd.