Happy Thanksgiving

Today I am thankful for so many things.

For my entire, extended, far-flung family.  Even though I don't get to see them nearly as much as I'd like, I'm blessed to have them in my life and very lucky to count among them some of my best friends.

For each of the five dogs currently living in my house.  Petey and Kara, the permanent residents, who keep me on my toes and tolerate (Petey) and enjoy (Kara) the stream of visitors we've had over the last year.  Momma Dog, (aka Pearl) the funny, feisty little dog who has been with Pup Squad for over a year and is still looking for her forever home.  Abbey, who has to be the best dog ever.  Sweet, gentle and desperate to please, surely her family is almost here.  And, Tessie, the newest addition to our little menagerie and Kara's BFF. (Two peas in a pod, those two.)  You definitely keep me on my toes, but I'm never bored and no matter how crazy things get, your affection, your silliness and your genuine joy lift me up.

For losing my job in 2008.  While that was a traumatic start to a winding and not always easy journey, it was worth every step.  The life I've remade myself with help from some pretty amazing people is better than anything I could have imagined for myself. I love every crazy minute of it.  And for all those people, who played a role in that transformation, large and small, I am so incredibly grateful to you.

For my job, which I LOVE.  It was worth the wait and the detours.

For my health.  While my body occasionally reminds me that I'm not 25 anymore (yes, that's me collapsed in a heap at BarreFit on Monday nights), I am so blessed to not have any serious medical issues and I know it.

For my friends who each brings something unique and marvelous to my life.  I learn so much for each of you and count myself truly blessed to have you in my life.

For the staff at 24 Hour Fitness who came to work on Thanksgiving morning, so I could feel a little less guilty about today's food fest and ultimately inspired this post.

And last, but definitely not least, for the privilege of living in this fantastic, screwed up, messy country where  we all have the freedom to express ourselves and fight for what we each believe is right.   I'm forever grateful for all of those, past, present and future in our military and all of their sacrifices, big and small, that make it possible for the rest of us to live free and secure.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Nature of Forgiveness

I’ve been wrestling with a philosophical question recently. Can forgiveness be granted if it has not been requested? Can you truly forgive someone who hasn’t expressed remorse?

I’ve had some interesting conversations on the subject. People’s reactions to the question vary. Everything from hell no, you don’t owe somebody anything who doesn’t apologize to absolutely, that is the purest kind of forgiveness.

In the abstract, I agree with the later. In the specific, I’m struggling.

Let me back up a bit. I suspected someone I considered a friend, someone who put themselves forward as a friend, screwed me. Apparently, this person despised me. And, I don’t know why. I do know that I never did anything on purpose against this person; quite the opposite, in fact. I put a lot of time and energy into supporting this person and running interference on their behalf. It’s all very confusing.

But, despite being a friend to my face, this individual, deliberately, with malice, set out to screw me and then they did. Not some Mickey Mouse junior high nonsense either; serious, grown up damage done. Then, a few months ago, my suspicions were irrefutably confirmed. As a side note, the difference between suspicion and knowledge is white hot rage.

Most of that has burned off, but I am left with the actual betrayal. The whole situation is mind boggling to me. I just do not understand plotting against someone. (Did I get off the bus in Pine Valley?) There’s also the puzzling fact that I don’t know why I deserved such treatment. (On a philosophical note, I do not believe, no matter what you think someone may have done to you, that anyone deserves to be the target of malicious actions.)

I guess, in the long run, all of the specifics, the whys and whens, don’t matter. And, when it comes right down to it, this person doesn’t matter either. All that matters is that at some point I need to genuinely forgive them.

And, I’m trying, but not there yet…not even close

The 24-Hour Newscycle & The Death of Journalism

A bit of an overstatement, maybe, but as I was watching FoxNews (I know, believe me, it was NOT my idea, the TV in the break area is set to FoxNews) I witnessed yet another pathetic example of continuous coverage letting people talk even when they have nothing intelligent to say.

Two women, supposed professionals, were criticizing the SEAL team that took out bin Laden for not taking his wife into custody. I don't know whether they should have taken her or not, but listening to these women state with absolute certainty that they should have and refute the explanation for why they hadn't almost made my head explode.

Their brilliance:

1) "She's not very big, she couldn't weigh more than 100 lbs."

Really? Maybe they have a picture they're not showing, but the one on the screen shows a woman from the neck up, veiled with a black bar across her eyes. You can only see about one inch of forehead and maybe two inches of nose and chin. There is no way to know how much she weighs and since she isn't exactly rockin' stellar cheekbones, anything goes.

2) "There's always room for one more when I'm driving the kids around."

Drive your kids around in a helicopter much? I'll concede when driving in a car, it is possible to cram a lot of people in a small space. (Personal best, 8 people + driver in a taxi ({sedan}) I'm not an aviation expert and I've never flown a helicopter (or flown in one, for that matter), but I have a sneaking suspicion that the total amount of weight in the helicopter might factor in to the pilot's ability to get said 'copter off the ground successfully, but what do I know?

Please, for the love of ...... If you don't have something intelligent to say go back to yammering about celebrities. I don't really care if you make sense or not when you're doing your daily Lindsay Lohan update.

"I'm a Straight Shooter"

I’ve been hearing that or some variation of that, a lot lately. It seems to translate to “I can say anything I want without regards to other people’s feelings with impunity because I’m just being 'honest'."

Sorry, I’m not buying it.

I’ve mentioned here before that I’ve pretty much stopped reading comments on public (media, entertainment, etc) or high profile (ala Dooce.com) blogs because people can be so mean. I remain traumatized by some of the hateful messages left on the New York Post’s article about Brittany Murphy’s death and I don’t know how Heather Armstrong screws up to courage to open the comments section on her blog. But, I digress.

Over the last several weeks, I and people around me have been subjected to “straight shooters” and it’s no fun at all. Flinging words like bad, unprofessional, convoluted, misleading, ugly and corrupt around is not productive. When it is in response to request for feedback it’s at best thoughtless and at worst, mean.

If someone asks for your opinion and you have concerns or think you can help, taking a minute to frame your comments in a way that doesn’t attack or belittle isn’t too much to ask. And, if your opinion has not been solicited, unless whatever it is directly affects you or falls within your area of responsibility SHUT UP.

Sidebar - (The corruption allegation was the most ridiculous. After failing to get their way on a particular issue this person charged corruption, an allegation so far out in left field I’m considering buying that “straight shooter” a dictionary for Christmas, since clearly, they do not know the definition of corruption.)

If your intentions are good, being blunt to the point of rudeness isn’t helpful and your message is going to be lost. Trust me. After being told something I was doing was “bad” I didn’t hear anything said for the next two minutes of the conversation. Perhaps there was good information in there, but I’ll never know. Of course, it didn’t help, that I had not asked for this person’s opinion, but was answering a question only to be interrupted and told what I was doing was “bad” and that I was doing it “all wrong”. I did not respond well. Ironically, it turned out that this person did not know nearly as much as they thought they did and were proven to be completely wrong on several technical points, but I’m not gloating…..

If you pride yourself on being a straight shooter and think I am being “too sensitive” may I respectfully request that you consider, for a moment, that straight shooting is still shooting and being on the receiving end of your bullets stings.
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Question of the Day

"Do you hook up people who want to breed their dogs?"

Someone actually walked up to me at an adoption event this weekend and asked me that question. I wish I could say I calmly educated the gentleman on the reasons why he might want to consider spaying his dog instead of breeding her. Unfortunately, all I could think of at the time was the idiot/a$$hole who dumped eight two-week old puppies at Houston's city shelter because they didn't look like his dog. Under the circumstances, I'm alternating between kicking myself for missing an opportunity to gently educate and congratulating myself on not beating him with the roll of paper towels I had in my hands.

Just to clarify, I have no problem with responsible people who responsibly breed for the love of a specific breed. I know some wonderful people who create outstanding dogs. (As a side note, it's an expensive hobby, they're not making any money breeding dogs; they work their day jobs to support their hobby, so if you're thinking about breeding your dog to make a little extra cash, think again!) It's the amateur, backyard, happenstance, accidental "breeder" I take issue with and of course, puppy mills. The former act out of ignorance; the later out of greed. It is my firm belief that there is a special place in hell for those who exploit others, be it animals or people, for their own benefit.

Climbing off the soap box, now. Thank you for indulging me.

R.I.P. Baby Puppies

I was planning all sorts of fun updates on the puppies, but I never thought for a minute I'd have to post this. Sadly, the babies all succumbed to the nasty one-two punch of Parvo and Distemper.

Eight Babies - Day One at my house

My little guys snoozing

Despite heroic efforts by quite a few people, we lost all eight puppies.

In truth, these little guys never really had a chance. Spay and/or neuter your pets, please. If you have an unplanned litter, at least let mama finish nursing before you take the babies away and PLEASE contact a local rescue group to help you find homes, shelters are no place for young puppies. Tell your friends.

To LinkIn Or Not To LinkIn

I've been hearing a lot lately about developing a personal social media strategy. I have to admit, I haven't given a lot of thought to it. But, I guess I do have at least a basic strategy.

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around Twitter, so at this point, I'm just trying to follow people I think are interesting and find at least one relevant thing to tweet every day, and retweets don't count. I'm also not mobile right now, so I don't have to worry about tweeting inappropriately.

Facebook is for friends and family. Yes, there are FB friends where the relationship started out professionally, but at least on some level, it crossed into personal territory. I don't make or accept friend requests from people I only know professionally. It's nothing personal, it's just that I don't think my colleagues need to see pictures of me at the beach or of my cousin getting a lap dance (I'm sure his wife LOVED that piece of ancient history one of his "friends" posted, recently.)

LinkedIn is for professional relationships. Yes, I'm LinkedIn with a lot of my friends, but primarily, it's for professional contacts. I don't accept LinkedIn requests from people I don't know and just attending the same university doesn't count. (Both CSU campuses I attended had between 30,000 - 40,000 students at any given time.) All of the people I am currently LinkedIn with are people I KNOW, people I've worked with or at least spent some time with in some form or fashion. People I feel I can vouch for their character, work ethic, etc. But I find things are getting a little sticky.

So, my question to you is, if you met someone at a professional event, spoke for a few minutes and exchanged business cards, would you send them a LinkedIn request? Would you accept a LinkedIn request from them?

Poison Plays Broadway

Or The Delcine of Western Civilization In The Time Of Anonymity

Let's get the disclaimer out of the way right up front.

I am a Poison Fan (yes, that's fan with a capital F). Back in the day, I didn't miss a show, I was at the record store the day the new albums were released, slept in the parking lot of Tower Records more than once to score good seats and once spent so much time at work trying to win tickets for the album release party my boss called his friend at the radio station to get me tickets so I'd get back to work.

Now, that that's out of the way.....

I didn't realize Poison was performing at the Tony Awards until the next day when the Today Show showed Bret Michaels getting hit in the head by a piece of scenery. Ouch. I emailed some of my friends from the "good old days" and one responded with a video clip of the accident.

While the video was slightly disturbing, the comments on msnbc.com were shocking. Almost every comment was downright hateful. The delight these people took in Bret getting hit by the scenery was unbelievable. I've never met the guy, but he seems like a decent enough human being, I do not understand the hate. You could practically see them rubbing their hands together over their keyboards and cackling with glee. It's not like the guy is a monster or committed some heinous crime. If you don't like the music, fine, if you don't like him, fine, but to take such joy in his misfortune is pathetic.

All of this left me pondering, when did it become okay to be mean and nasty to people just because you can do it anonymously?

Coincidentally, I saw a tweet today announcing that Trent Reznor (of Nine In Nails) is leaving Twitter. (I didn't know he was there...sorry I missed it.) His explanation is interesting, sad and a disturbing commentary on the state of the virtual world.

Fame vs. Privacy

It's not a new debate, how much privacy does a public figure deserve? Some people say, not much, they make their living (usually a pretty damn good one) at least in some part, because we (the public) are interested in them. Others say, they should be left alone, their work should speak for itself. I, personally, fall somewhere in the middle. If you're out promoting your work, you should be accessible (and PLEASANT). However, if you're trying to have dinner in a restaurant or otherwise just trying to live your life, you should be left alone. (Sidebar - I'm not talking about the stalkaratzi, I'm talking about normal people, the autograph hounds and the cell phone photog. Profesional photographers taking pictures at public events is one thing, camping out at people's homes, chasing them down the street or using super-telephoto lens to snap pictures of people in their own backyards should be against the law.)

However, I will admit that I am guilty of reading those vapid "entertainment" magazines (People, US, etc.) and discussing in great detail the latest celebrity gossip. It's not something I'm proud of, but I but can't seem to help myself. In the interest of full disclosure, I'll admit I followed the Anna Nicole story, almost bought a "Team Jen" t-shirt and most recently discussed the tragedy that befell the Travolta family with my girlfriends in minute detail. However, I heard something on the news today that stopped my in my tracks:

...."an EMT on the scene reported that Travolta held his son's hand the whole ride to the hospital."

Seriously, doesn't everybody, regardless of how they choose to make their living, their level of fame and even their not-quite-mainstream religious beliefs deserve a little privacy while attending to their dying child? Suddenly, I felt like I was intruding in a profoundly private moment, probably because I was.

My condolences to the family.