To Resolve or Not To Resolve

That seems to be the big question right now. There seem to be as many people advising people not to make resolutions (or at least declaring that they will NOT be making resolutions) as there are sites offering advice, tips, plans, programs, etc. to make (and keep) resolutions.

For several years I was firmly planted in the anti-resolution camp, but that has changed. The last couple of years I have made resolutions with mixed success.  Over the last year, I've explored different approaches to life improvement, for lack of a better expression.  One thing I've realized that, at least for me, it's more about evolution than revolution.  The other is the golden oldie - a goal without a plan is just a dream (not that dreams are a bad thing.)

I'm still working through this year's priorities and plans, but I thought I'd share a few of my favorite articles on the subject.

There's Martha Beck's take on goal setting:  Conjuring Good Magic:  How to Set Powerful Goals

Next, Lifehack's Fifty New Years Resolution Ideas and How to Achieve Them to help not only kickstart the process of choosing a goal but it's also full of tips, tricks and concrete plans on how to achieve success. 

For a (slightly) different perspective, check out Christine Kane's Lose New Years Resolutions & Create Real Success in 2015.  Refusing to believe resolutions and Christine's approach are mutually exclusive, I'm using both Martha Beck's goal setting approach and Christine Kane's words to map out my plan for 2015.

Or my very favorite take on resolutions, change and transformation - Erika Napoletano's New Years Resolutions Can Kiss My Lily White Ass.  I'll definitely be making those two lists.

Finally, some simple, easily applied practicality to help get the ball rolling, I offer Fast Company 's Five Ways to Make Your To-Do Lists More Effective.  Because sometimes, I need some very basic steps to get started and keep me from throwing up my hands and picking up the remote control.

One final note, be careful not to get so caught up in what you didn't achieve in 2014 that you disregard what you DID achieve.

I was so busy castigating myself for being in the position to make yet another "lose weight" goal,  looking around the house at all the unfinished organizational projects, all the unrealized opportunities for Pup Squad and at my long-term foster dogs who I've still yet to find forever homes for, that I almost completely forgot I did make a HUGE transformation in my life last year, I changed jobs.  While I did love my last job, it had become an all-consuming, exhausting, marathon-run-as-a-sprint proposal that was sucking up every moment of my waking time (and more).  Despite all that, walking away from it wasn't an easy choice even though my new position is fabulous, challenging and has considerable potential for growth, not to mention it leaves me some time to do other things, including sleep. So, just for right now, I'm going to put aside the plans for what I didn't "fix"and appreciate the results of what I did. 

New Year's Resolutions: The Reckoning

The 2011 resolutions.

• Identify areas of personal focus by January 15; delegate and/or relinquish everything else by February 28.
• Create concrete plans with milestones and deadlines for each areas of focus by February 15
• Embrace budgeting – Create a workable, comprehensive budget by January 31 with short and long-term goals and stick to it. Track expenses weekly against goals
• Lose 13 lbs by February 1 eating healthfully and hitting the gym a minimum of five times per week and maintaining the weight and lifestyle 85% of 2011 (gotta have some wiggle room)

I am going to check back in on these monthly rather than waiting to read the list again for the first time in late December. Hopefully, with slightly better results.

Well, hmmm, on the surface, it seems like a bit fat FAIL.

But that wouldn't tell the whole story.

While I can't say I've completely restored balance to my life, I have narrowed my focus a bit and am headed in the right direction.

Concrete plans.  Okay, that may be a big fat fail, but I'm okay with it.  There's always next year.

Embrace budgeting...well not so much. But, again, things are improving. I did walk away from the makeup counter, without apologies, after discovering that the object of my desire was $200.

Lose 13 lbs.  Nope.  While, right now, I'm only trying to lose 12 lbs, I'm still far from goal and unable to wear most of what's in my closet.  I have gotten back to working out regularly, minus the  two weeks while I fought a stupid cold, so at least that's something.

As for checking in, well, I don't have to tell you that didn't happen.

 

Alignment

Achieving success is pretty simple. Align your actions with your goals and viola - success.

So, why is it so hard? Why is it that despite my top two goals right being losing weight and sticking to a budget does one little thing keep tripping me up...EVERYDAY!

So, what is my scary, all-powerful nemesis?

Yep, the infamous Starbucks latte. $3.25 each. One a day, six days a week...that's $78 a month.

130 empty calories a day. (Hey, at least it's nonfat milk)

Foiled by the Starbucks a three minute walk from my cube.

Not tomorrow!! Tomorrow, I will be stronger than the latte!

In Search of Balance

Balance as in moderation, equilibrium, HARMONY. {A harmonious life, I like the sound of that.}

In a lot of ways 2010 was a great year, but my life was frequently a bit…..lopsided. While there’s nothing wrong with throwing yourself whole-heartedly into something you love, doing it to the point that you neglect other areas completely isn’t a recipe for long-term success. My lopsided life has manifested in many ways, not the least of which is my house. So, in a quest for balance I am going to try to reevaluate how I spend my time and make sure to make time for things like, say, UNPACKING.



So, while 2010 was the year of Doing Things Differently, 2011 is all about Balance.

Oh Me of Little Faith

In an attempt to cook more and eat more healthfully I pulled a recipe from the latest issue of SELF, but when it came time to actually make dinner I took a good look at the it and was not excited...at all:

Cook 4 oz of flank steak in 1 tsp of olive oil, transfer to plate, saute 2 cups of red cabbage, 1/2 cup of sliced carrots in 1 tsp of olive oil until tender, transfer veggies to plate, drizzle with 1 tsp of sesame oil and 1 tbsp of low-sodium soy sauce.

I was not terribly enthusiastic, where was the flavor? the seasoning? Shouldn't I be marinating the steak? But, it was late and I was hungry, so I just went with it. {Full disclosures, I did toss the veggies with a little rice vinegar between pan and plate.} It was delicious. Color me shocked. And stuffed.

Resolutions - 2011

I broke my no-resolutions streak in 2010 but as evidenced by the year-in-review, I didn’t exactly hit it out of the park. In a knee-jerk response to the realization that I’d forgotten or ignored most of my 2010 resolutions, I started an insane list of resolutions for 2011 that included a lot of “doing X every day” and “do Y” once a week, etc.. After realizing that even if I no longer had to work for a living, I still wouldn’t have enough time to keep to that schedule, I scraped the list.

Then, inspired by Michael Hyatt’s “How to Make New Year’s Resolutions Stick”, I started over. I’ve reviewed the original list, identified the big stuff and made what Michael calls “SMART” resolutions for 2011 and I’m going public, also one of his recommendations.

SMART:

Specific—your goals just identify exactly what you want to accomplish in as much specificity as you can muster.

Measurable—as the old adage says, “you can’t manage what you can’t measure.”

Actionable—every resolution should start with a verb (e.g., “quit,” “run,” “finish,” “eliminate,” etc.)

Realistic—you have to be careful here. A good resolution should stretch you, but you have to add a dose of common sense.

Time-bound—every resolution needs a date associated with it. When do you plan to deliver on that resolution.

So without further ado, the 2011 resolutions.

• Identify areas of personal focus by January 15; delegate and/or relinquish everything else by February 28.
• Create concrete plans with milestones and deadlines for each areas of focus by February 15
• Embrace budgeting – Create a workable, comprehensive budget by January 31 with short and long-term goals and stick to it. Track expenses weekly against goals
• Lose 13 lbs by February 1 eating healthfully and hitting the gym a minimum of five times per week and maintaining the weight and lifestyle 85% of 2011 (gotta have some wiggle room)

I am going to check back in on these monthly rather than waiting to read the list again for the first time in late December. Hopefully, with slightly better results.

Tiny Triumphs

My theme for 2010 was "Doing Things Differently" and I've had modest success over the year. I have fallen into old patterns more than I’d like to admin but I did smash an old, extremely self-destructive, pattern to bits last week.

I had an quasi-professional holiday party right after work and ran my hose pretty extensively during the day making a stop for a new pair a necessity. Fortunately, there was a lingerie shop right across the street, so easy, breezy, right? Ha! Yes, I did know that this was a high end shop, but I still wasn’t expecting the $58 price tag staring back at me from the back of one pair of black pantyhose.

Now, the old me would have done one of two things, made up an excuse or just put them on a credit card because I wouldn’t want anyone to think I couldn’t afford whatever overpriced item was in question. (even if that, in fact, was the truth). However, without blinking an eye, I handed the package back to the nice sales girl and when she looked at me questioningly I replied without a hint of embarrassment that I did not need $58 pantyhose, thank you very much and blew out of there without a backward glance. It felt pretty good, actually. There’s nothing to say I won’t regress, but I’m feeling pretty good at the moment.

The real kicker came a little later when I ran the new hose I picked up at Ann Taylor while I was putting them on – boy am I glad I hadn’t paid $58 for those things. So, my bare legs and unspanxed thighs (I have no problem going bare-legged, but if I don’t have hose on, trust me, I’m wearing spanx under that skirt) went to the party and I doubt anyone noticed (but me).

{Seriously, $58 for a pair of pantyhose???}

81 Days - Countdown to Warrior Dash

I started a new workout program today and I’d like to say the motivation was to train for Warrior Dash, but the truth is, it wasn't. Reality is a combination of boredom and the desire to lose weight.

When I picked up my September issue of SELF on Monday and saw "YOUR WEIGHT MINUS 8!" I was hooked. It had to be a sign from the universe that I even saw the September issue before say, January. So, I had to sign myself up and follow the program for the whole month of September.

First, I am bored silly with my current work out program. Second, if – strike that – WHEN I lose the eight pounds it will be the same as going on a shopping spree without spending a penny. Woo Hoo. Getting dressed will more what do I want to wear and less what can I possibly squeeze myself into. So, off I go.

I’m happy to report that the first day has gone well. I managed one of the elliptical workout or at least most of it. I did manage to keep up with the resistance increases. The instructions include “keep your pace to 160 (strides per minute) on the tough intervals to maximize the fat burn.” Ha! I only managed to hit 160 during level 2, forget level 16. After the resistance hit double digits I could barely break 100. As for setting the cross ramp to incline at 10, I am happy to report I couldn’t find an option to increase the incline on the machine I picked. So, that doesn’t count, right?

I also managed to avoid french fries at lunch and the chocolate cake in the break room. Overall, I'm counting Day 1 as a victory.

Resolutions

My typical New Year's resolution has been to not make New Year's resolutions. (I know, basically a cop out, but pretty easy to keep). This year is different and I've made a few:

1) Do Things Differently

To be fair, this isn't exactly "new", so it should be "Continue to ..."

One thing spending almost a year involuntarily unemployed gives you is plenty of time to contemplate how and where things went off the rails. (Maybe being laid off was completely beyond my control, but that's too scary to contemplate). After some thought I came up with some basic shifts in perspective I think are important to my future success.

a) Mind your own business; yes, it's easier and frequently more fun to mind other people's but resist the urge to fiddle with anything and everything that crosses your path; focus on your own responsibilities. Chances are you've got room for improvement right in front of you.

b) Pick your battles with care but balance flexibility with fairness...to yourself. Resist the urge to go along to get along - not everyone appreciates a level playing field. There is a balance between prima donna and door mat.

c) Keep emotions in check and never REact. Act only after careful and cool deliberation and ask two questions; will this matter tomorrow (or next week) and can I, realistically, affect a positive change. If so, then act with conviction and commitment. If not, shut mouth and move on.

d) Recognize that the easy and comfortable answer is rarely the right one - Cowboy Up. Push through the fear of failure...and of success. Take a chance.

2) Be Healthier - nothing new there, but instead of focusing on losing weight and what I'm not going to eat, I'm choosing to focus my fitness routine on specific goals (i.e. prepare for February's ski trip) and my diet on what I should be eating (i.e. January's goal at least one veggie, every day and tomato sauce doesn't count) rather than obsessing over calories and "forbidden" foods.

3) Fight the old Procrastination Monster (found a great book on this subject, but that's a post of all it's own)

4) Do One Thing At A Time - this may be the hardest one of all, especially given my new Twitter addiction, but while I do believe the ability to shift gears on a dime, when necessary, is important, I don't thinking "multi-tasking" is all that productive.

Bring on 2010!