Neglect

ne·glect

verb (used with object)

1.

to pay no attention or too little attention to; disregard orslight: The public neglected his genius for many years.

2.

to be remiss in the care or treatment of: to neglect one'sfamily; to neglect one's appearance.

3.

to omit, through indifference or carelessness: to neglect toreply to an invitation.

4.

to fail to carry out or perform (orders, duties, etc.): toneglect the household chores.

5.

to fail to take or use: to neglect no precaution.

According to Dictionary.com

Yes, I have been neglecting this blog.  It's very sad...at least to me.  However, I am cautiously optimistic that the craziness of the first part of the year has been at least partially tamed, so I'm taking another shot.   


Thanks for sticking with me.

High Hopes

Such promise.....

I know "long" is a subjective term, but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect the "Long Lasting Flavor" to last longer than the time it takes to get out of the Target parking lot.

To be fair, it was very tasty for almost a whole minute.

"I'm a Straight Shooter"

I’ve been hearing that or some variation of that, a lot lately. It seems to translate to “I can say anything I want without regards to other people’s feelings with impunity because I’m just being 'honest'."

Sorry, I’m not buying it.

I’ve mentioned here before that I’ve pretty much stopped reading comments on public (media, entertainment, etc) or high profile (ala Dooce.com) blogs because people can be so mean. I remain traumatized by some of the hateful messages left on the New York Post’s article about Brittany Murphy’s death and I don’t know how Heather Armstrong screws up to courage to open the comments section on her blog. But, I digress.

Over the last several weeks, I and people around me have been subjected to “straight shooters” and it’s no fun at all. Flinging words like bad, unprofessional, convoluted, misleading, ugly and corrupt around is not productive. When it is in response to request for feedback it’s at best thoughtless and at worst, mean.

If someone asks for your opinion and you have concerns or think you can help, taking a minute to frame your comments in a way that doesn’t attack or belittle isn’t too much to ask. And, if your opinion has not been solicited, unless whatever it is directly affects you or falls within your area of responsibility SHUT UP.

Sidebar - (The corruption allegation was the most ridiculous. After failing to get their way on a particular issue this person charged corruption, an allegation so far out in left field I’m considering buying that “straight shooter” a dictionary for Christmas, since clearly, they do not know the definition of corruption.)

If your intentions are good, being blunt to the point of rudeness isn’t helpful and your message is going to be lost. Trust me. After being told something I was doing was “bad” I didn’t hear anything said for the next two minutes of the conversation. Perhaps there was good information in there, but I’ll never know. Of course, it didn’t help, that I had not asked for this person’s opinion, but was answering a question only to be interrupted and told what I was doing was “bad” and that I was doing it “all wrong”. I did not respond well. Ironically, it turned out that this person did not know nearly as much as they thought they did and were proven to be completely wrong on several technical points, but I’m not gloating…..

If you pride yourself on being a straight shooter and think I am being “too sensitive” may I respectfully request that you consider, for a moment, that straight shooting is still shooting and being on the receiving end of your bullets stings.
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Annoying Words

Cougar. I have come to hate the word. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me, but yesterday I ran across the most egregious use of the word, so far.

The term, when used in its original context is annoying enough. But, I can handle it with it refers to women over 40 with a prurient and predatory interest in men in their 20s. I find it annoying when it is applied to any woman dating a younger man, no matter who small age difference. Referring to Eva Longoria as a cougar when she started dating Tony Parker (7 year age difference) was eye roll inducing. Seriously, she was what, 32, when they got married? Cougar? I think not.

Referring to any single woman over 40 as cougar is offensive (from my perspective as a single woman over 40). However, calling 20 year old Taylor Swift a cougar for dating 18 year old Taylor Lautner is ridiculous. Yes, you read that correctly, in issue #1082/1083 - December 25, 2009/January 1, 2010 (double issue) Entertainment Weekly deemed Taylor Swift "the cougar in the relationship" when discussing the two Taylors relationship. {Yes, I know, old news - I'm behind on my reading.}

Deeming a 20 year old a cougar is a pretty good indication that it's time to retire this stupid term.

Words

"My heart broke, but it beat."

The crucial difference between depression and grief, according to Kay Redfield Jamison and lifted from her new memoir, Nothing Was The Same; the story of her life with and without her late husband. (A review is featured in the October 2009 issue of O The Oprah Magazine.

I've always been amazed how words, in the hands of a master, can be hauntingly beautiful or unbelievably hilarious or desperately cruel. For some reason today, those six words have stayed with me all day. Six little words that capture so much emotion.

Oddly appropriate that, by pure coincidence, my 100th post is about words.