Monday, June 25, 2012

Rock of Ages - The Movie

Worst. Movie. Ever.  Seriously.  Worse than that awful bend-the-bullet Angelina Jolie movie, worse than Dirty Dancing Havana Nights. Worst movie ever.  So much awfulness I don't even know where to begin.

For the record, I did enjoy the musical.  It wasn't high-art; but it was a fun walk down memory lane and as a bonus I made a new friend who also walked Sunset Boulevard in the 80s.  Win-Win.

The movie, however,  GOD-AWFUL.  Despite the warnings issues by everyone who reviewed it, I was still not prepared for the reality of this mess.  The opening sequence bad. The collective first ten minutes were so horrific I would have walked out if I hadn't been so curious about Tom Cruise - Rock Star.

The reviewers are correct, he is the best thing about the movie, by far.  Although, that's not saying much.  Tom was good and maybe that is was pisses me off so much.  Tom seemed to be going somewhere with his portrayal of Stacee Jaxx.  There was a possibility of a decent, maybe even good movie there.  But even Tom Cruise cannot fight a poorly developed (completely undeveloped) plot, caricatures instead of characters, a frantic musical mash up and choreography so bad it belonged in a spoof of the movie.

Yes, Tom Cruise makes a very convincing Rock Star and his voice sounded great.  However, it is not worth subjecting yourself to the rest of this schlock.

Although, to be fair, I left before it was over.  Start time changed and I had to pick the dogs up from the adoption center.  Maybe it got better....but I seriously doubt it.


Trix in the City said...

Finally saw it... well most of it... not enough time of the flight to see the end... and you're right... HORRIBLE!!

Rhondasloan said...