Gym Guilt

Recently, I was feeling guilty while driving to the gym since it was first trip in almost a week. However, as I went through my workout I noticed I was really sore which was strange, since I hadn't been working out. Then I realized, while I hadn't made it to the gym, I had been getting quite a work out - a Puppercize workout.

If you want to add some variation to your exercise routine, here's the basic outline. First start with a minimum of two puppies. Additional puppies will add intensity.

The Puppercize Workout (in no particular order)

Lunge and Grab - this move is a variation on the standard lunge. While in the lunge position, extend your reach to grab a puppy making a break for freedom under the fence (or about to get in to some other mischief).

For your biceps, it's the repetitive puppy lift - over gates, out of pens, away from plants, or just up to eye level for my puppy kisses.

For you legs, high stepping or hurdles, depending on the height of the gates, pens and other obstacles you are constantly negotiating in your attempts to contain the puppies.

For the gluts, there are two versions of squats in the puppercize workout:
The clean up - standard squat position accompanied by cleaning up whatever mess has been discovered.

The balance squat - while in the squat position attempt to maintain your balance while being climbed upon by the exuberantly affectionate puppies

For the cardio portion, wind sprints - running up and down the yard in attempt wear the puppies out and dashing down the stairs - racing three puppies with full bladders down the stairs and out the door as fast as possible to avoid any deposits inside. Frequently followed by the clean-up squat.

And, the ultimate in puppy cardio - bathing the puppies which will also include many of the moves detailed above.

As with all exercise programs, please consult a physician prior to beginning.

Nonsense Tip of the Week

100% Cranberry juice is undrinkable. Trust me, it cannot be diluted with anything that makes it remotely palatable, even Grey Goose.

He's Just Not That Into You - The Movie

He's Just Not That Into You (the movie) is a lot of fun. It's cute, it's funny, it makes you laugh (a lot), it makes you cry (a little) and best of all, it makes you feel like maybe you're not really that crazy, at least in comparison. It's sweet, harmless fun that takes equal shots at men and women navigating the world of modern day relationships. My favorite line of the movie, featured in the previews, is Drew Barrymore's character lamenting the proliferation of communication methodologies and the joys of being rejected by multiple technologies.

My favorite line from the book, however, is very different and quite frankly is graphic enough that I don't feel comfortable putting it in a blog that might be seen by someone related to me, however great the advice.

The movie may be PG-13, the book however, is definitely in R territory. As a matter of fact, the movie and the book only have a few things in common: 1) the title, 2) some of the characters' names and 3) some of the direct advice. Remember, the book was written by a Sex In The City consultant/writer and Sex In The City writer and it shows. I'd feel perfectly comfortable recommending the movie for the teenage set; the book, not so much. Not that it's not great advice, but it's definitely full of adult content. So, if a teenager you know asks for the book, at the very least, read it yourself, first.

Nonsense Tip of the Week

Buy a wallet (or some sort of money containment device), grown ups should not go through life keeping bills crumpled in pockets, loose floating in purses or in tattered envelopes.

Stir Fry Update

We didn't have stir fry last night because we didn't have any rice. However, we made it tonight and it was easy and delicious. One word of warning, their Szechuan sauce is HOT!

Died and Gone To Heaven

Tonight is my night to cook. The plan was stir fry. But between chasing puppies around and cleaning up after puppies and a zillion other things, I was having trouble drumming up the enthusiasm for the project. As the afternoon's errands progressed, chances of me actually cooking tonight were dimishing rapidly. By the time I got to the last stop chances were zero and I was planning a trip to Pei Wei. (Hey, Chinese is Chinese and my brother can't complain if I'm paying, right?)

But, as I raced through the produce section I stumbled upon this gift from the grocery gods

It's called the Kit Kitchen (I think) and includes pre-chopped veggies of all kinds to mix and match (sold by weight) as well as chicken, beef and seafood all ready to go and a wide variety of sauces. They also have complete kits for various dishes with recipes ranging from Tortilla Soup to Kung Pao Chicken. I grabbed some chicken, a mixture of veggies and Szechaun sauce. (I'll report back on the results.) Yes, it is more expensive than buying everything whole and chopping it all myself, but that was not going to happen. It is less expensive than two entrees from Pei Wei. Plus, you can experiment with new things in small amounts.

Once again proof that Central Market ROCKS!

Questioning My Sanity

I just returned from walking three puppies, separately. You would think it would take longer to walk three puppies separately than it does to take to walk three puppies at once, but you would be wrong. I made the ridiculous attempt to walk all three of them last night and it took us over 30 minutes but we only made it about a quarter way around the block. (Fortunately, I have a back door.) If there had been video running I could have made some serious cash, if I was willing to subject myself to humiliation on national television, which I, most certainly, not. (Sorry America's Funniest Pets).

All three of these little guys are very sweet (thank God!) and interested in making the human happy, at least most of the time. However, I currently have more puppies than I have hands, so chances are, no matter what, someone is going to pee on something. I've been to Target twice this week for Spot Bot refills and should buy stock in Nature's Miracle. We are making headway in the house training department and in their defense, my house isn't set up very well for the process. Also, if two of them are content to lay quietly and chew a bone the third is determined to prevent that from happening and I have yet to figure out why five bones + three dogs = three dogs fighting over one bone.

I have zero regrets about fostering them, but in the future, I'm going to limit my house guests to no more than two at a time. This just doesn't happen often enough.


It has been a crazy week, but one thing I can say for sure is that I have had absolutely no time this week to feel sorry for myself or contemplate the waning of the fourth month without a new job. So, a heart felt thank you to Twitch, Petey and Gus.

Puppies!

Introducing Twitch, Gus and Petey! (from left to right)

There are three new foster puppies hanging out at the house now. I am hopelessly outnumbered, but fortunatley, they're very sweet. Active, but sweet. We've already had one escape from the backyard, but fortunately Twitch didn't go far. (No thanks at all to the women walking down the street who I begged for help - karma's a bitch, ladies) Petey, the smallest of the three, has figured out he can climb out of the ex-pen if he stands on his brother. Gus wasn't terribly appreciative, but he also didn't move. Gus's giant belly is shrinking down to a more normal size, since I followed the expert's advice (Thanks Kathy) and am feeding them separately. At the moment, Twitch is playing tug-of-war with Gus's leg and Gus has Petey by the collar. Boys will be Boys!

They're three months old, have had all their shots and been neutered, so they're ready for adoption. Somehow, I don't think they're going to be here for very long.

Holly Update

I am (mostly) happy to report that Holly was adopted on Saturday. I am a little sad and will definitely miss that crazy puppy, but she went to a great family and I know she's having lots of fun. She did remind me how much work puppies are, but they are definitely well worth all the chaos.

Stay tuned for more foster puppy adventures.

Nonsense Tip of the Week

It is never okay to let your child run around a public restroom barefoot. EVER