Why Is Murphy Stalking Me?!?

I'm not sure what is in the air, but I'm running in to all kinds of little road blocks today.

First, I sent a very important, potential-new-job-related email this morning and of all the emails I sent this morning, it apparently got lost in cyber-space.

Next, when I tried to open a PowerPoint presentation I need to give some feedback on, it was in a version I cannot open.

Then, as I try to download the upgrade/service pack Internet Explorer keeps crashing.

And now, as I attempt to do laundry, I have no water pressure. NONE. It seems that there is a major water main break.

Granted, even all together this doesn't amount to a serious problem, but it sure as heck is aggravating.

So, I'm asking, WHY IS MURPHY STALKING ME????

Squirrel Proof Bird Feeder

Somebody should have told the squirrels.

Actually, someone did. My cousin's four year-old daughter loudly admonished the squirrel that the food was NOT. FOR. SQUIRRELS! knocking furiously on the window as she did so. As funny as that was, nothing prepared me for when she turned around and announced that she needed to call Grandma and tell her that feeder did not work like it was supposed to and the squirrels were eating the bird food. (She's four!!!)

I can't help but be a little impressed my his acrobatics, though.

Question for Moms

I was at a luncheon recently and the gentleman sitting next to me made an off-hand remark about a woman being very successful in her industry but then choosing the "mommy-track" so now she was just doing xyz. I don't remember his exact words there at the end, but the gist was she was "dabbling" now. I found myself a bit offended by his remarks, even though I'm not a mom.

So, I'm asking the moms (and anyone else with an opinion) do you find the term "mommy-track" and the attitude that goes along with it to be offensive, or does it just describe the reality faced by many mothers who work outside the home, too. (Too, as in also; in addition to; being a mommy is a pretty big job in and of itself.)

My Sister's Keeper

I was pleasantly surprise by My Sister's Keeper, since it hasn't received the best review and I'm not a fan of Jodi Picoult. I've only read one of her books, The Pact, and I quit halfway through. I know I'm in the minority here, but I don't care for the "issue" driven plot approach. I found the story to be contrived and almost deliberately emotionally manipulative.

But back to the movie. Abigail Breslin plays, Anna, a young girl who was genetically engineered to be a match to her cancer-stricken sister. The story follows the end of Kate's battle with cancer and Anna's decision to file for medical emancipation to avoid being forced in to a kidney transplant. Or at least that's what's going on the surface. The big "twist" was pretty apparently to me pretty early in the movie and my friend figured it out from the trailers. However, it turns out that despite "issue" driven plot and the author's attempt to wring every bit of melodrama out the story possible, I enjoyed the movie. The entire cast is just fantastic and Cameron Diaz's performance was amazing. You really feel a mother's frantic desperation as she attempts to stave off the inevitable. The movie also does a good job of telling the story from multiple points of view, giving insight in to what each of the characters is going through. It's definitely worth the price of admission. Not to state the obvious, but bring Kleenex.

Nonsense Tip

Don't attempt to stand upright on top of bleachers directly under a ceiling fan.

Away We Go

It was the premise, the idea of suddenly discovering you could live anywhere, that caught my attention. I imagine it's equal parts liberating and terrifying to find yourself suddenly free of geographic ties. After Burt's parents announce that they're leaving the country, one month before the arrival of their first grandchild, Burt and Verona find themselves unmoored. After the epiphany that the only reason they are where they are is Burt's parents, they decide to visit friends and family scattered around the U.S. and Canada to decide where to live. The movie is a little slow at times, but the collection of over-the-top characters they visit makes riding along worthwhile. I'd recommend adding Away We Go to your Netflix list.

Forbidden Hollywood

A collection of movies from "pre-Production Code" Hollywood from TCM, intriguing. Sounds racy, maybe even a little bit naughty, right? Not really, it may be "pre-Production Code", but most of these movies were made in the early 30s. So, if you're looking for titillating, try basic cable.

Forbidden Hollywood

Volume 1 - Baby Doll, Waterloo Bridge, Red-Headed Woman

Volume 2 - The Divorcee, A Free Soul, Three on a Match, Female, Night Nurse

Volume 3 - Other Men's Women, The Purchase Price, Frisco Jenny, Midnight Mary, Heroes for Sale, Wild Boys of the Road

I wasn't really expecting anything particularly salacious, but I was curious, so I added the list to my Netflix que. So far, results have been mixed.

Volume 1 Disc 2 overview: "The women are wicked and the stories steamy in these pre-Production Code Hollywood dramas. In Waterloo Bridge, the wealthy family of a Canadian solider forces him to give up the woman he loves when they learn she's a prostitute. (Mae Clarke, Douglas Montgomery and Bette Davis). Then, Jean Harlow is the gold-digging Red-Headed Woman who snags her married boss (Chester Morris) while carrying on another affair with a chauffeur (Charles Boyer)."

Waterloo Bridge was great. The description got quite a few details incorrect, but the movie was good. Red-Headed Woman, on the other hand, was a complete disappointment. I don't remember the main character's name so we'll call her GD (for gold digger). GD lacked any redeeming qualities and the object of her affections so lacked a backbone it's amazing he could walk upright. I quit watching before the chauffeur appeared, so I don't know if he was any better or how things ended up. Can't say I care.

So, if we're keeping score, we're 1 for 2 on the Forbidden Hollywood Collections, but I'm still intrigued and the movies are full of the big names of the day, so I'll keep them on the que. It may be a while before another disc ships; I've just discovered True Blood.

To LinkIn Or Not To LinkIn

I've been hearing a lot lately about developing a personal social media strategy. I have to admit, I haven't given a lot of thought to it. But, I guess I do have at least a basic strategy.

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around Twitter, so at this point, I'm just trying to follow people I think are interesting and find at least one relevant thing to tweet every day, and retweets don't count. I'm also not mobile right now, so I don't have to worry about tweeting inappropriately.

Facebook is for friends and family. Yes, there are FB friends where the relationship started out professionally, but at least on some level, it crossed into personal territory. I don't make or accept friend requests from people I only know professionally. It's nothing personal, it's just that I don't think my colleagues need to see pictures of me at the beach or of my cousin getting a lap dance (I'm sure his wife LOVED that piece of ancient history one of his "friends" posted, recently.)

LinkedIn is for professional relationships. Yes, I'm LinkedIn with a lot of my friends, but primarily, it's for professional contacts. I don't accept LinkedIn requests from people I don't know and just attending the same university doesn't count. (Both CSU campuses I attended had between 30,000 - 40,000 students at any given time.) All of the people I am currently LinkedIn with are people I KNOW, people I've worked with or at least spent some time with in some form or fashion. People I feel I can vouch for their character, work ethic, etc. But I find things are getting a little sticky.

So, my question to you is, if you met someone at a professional event, spoke for a few minutes and exchanged business cards, would you send them a LinkedIn request? Would you accept a LinkedIn request from them?

Serendipity

"the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for" (Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary)

I benefited from serendipity in a big way recently. It all started with an email about free puppy food that needed to be picked up. Fast forward to the warehouse parking lot, where I was standing at the back of my car discussing various puppy issues with another volunteer when I noticed a HUGE hole in the tread on my tire.















SCARY! I don't understand how I hadn't already had a blow out especially considering the way I drive .

Obviously, I have to get that tire replaced before I go home. But, I'm 23 freeway miles from my neighborhood in an area of town I know NOTHING about. Hmmm, well, I guess I'll head to the car dealership on the access road and ask them where the nearest tire place is. If it's too far maybe they will put my spare on for me. However, as I slowly turn on the access road what do I see?















And, yes, I did hear Handel's Hallelujah chorus in my head at that moment. I have NEVER been so happy to see NTB. Not only had I found a tire place, but I found my favorite tire place.

So, to recap, not only am I in a situation where I actually notice a hole in right rear tire BEFORE the tire goes out, but it happens less than 1/8 of a mile from a tire place. The very nice gentlemen at NTB at I-10 and Wilcrest got me fixed up quickly. So, thank you to all involved in the discovery and resolution of my faulty tire. Oh, and did I mentioned my tires were on sale???? Life is good!

The Proposal

Powerful, successful female executive has to marry her hot, younger, assistant to avoid being deported - the "marriage of convenience" for the 21st century. In less deft hands the somewhat tired premise might have fallen flat, but The Proposal was a fun surprise. I'm sure it helped that I really like both of the actors headlining the movie and that supporting cast was fantastic. (I just love Craig T. Nelson.) Betty White really did steal the show - she's absolutely brilliant.

{Spoiler Alert}

I have to admit that I was rooting for any ending other than Margaret and Andrew falling in love, but the inevitable managed to be believable despite Margaret's fire-breathing, ball-busting, persona and Andrew's fed up, slightly subversive, put upon assistant you meet, initially. I just wanted to be surprised by a different kind of ending. For instance, what if they went through with their sham marriage, fast forward a couple of years to the post-divorce dinner and they part as friends and Margaret realizes that she's ready to take a shot at love, for real. I don't know, maybe it's just me, maybe a different happy ending wouldn't have worked. I will say I agree with Rhonda who pointed out you have to be careful wishing for something other than the "usual". I don't think anybody felt satisfied with the way "The Break Up" ended.

Clarification – Compatibility

{Let me apologize in advance for the LONG post.}

I received the following comment from my post on eHarmony’s definition of compatibility, so I thought my previous post might need a little clarification.

“Sorry to hear you’re not happy with your matches thus far. The compatibility to which we refer is measured through your answers to that original long Relationship Questionnaire. The compatibility factors include dimensions like energy level, artistry, ambition, and more. Our research shows that these are the key foundational elements two individuals must share in order to build a solid relationship that will be happy and healthy in the long run. It’s not a guarantee that your life styles or affinities will be the same. And it’s not a guarantee that you’ll have chemistry with all these matches. The goal is to ultimately find one great candidate among the matches sent to you. If you feel, however, that your matching isn’t right, we may be able to reset the Relationship Questionnaire. It is quite possible that your results from a while ago don’t really match who you are today. This can be done for free. You can contact our Customer Care team at: http://help-singles.eharmony.com/ or follow me on Twitter @eharmony_jack we’d love to have a chance to help your experience improve. – Jack”

First of all, I’m not looking for a guarantee; that would be ridiculous. Nor am I dissing my matches or my non-matches. The men I did meet were very nice and there was at least some level of compatibility. No chemistry, but there was compatibility. Which brings me to my second point; I was not complaining about the lack of chemistry nor holding them responsible for chemistry. Chemistry is a tricky thing, certainly not something for which you can hold a third-party responsible.

My issue is that I do not feel that everyone eHarmony is “matching” me with is actually a match according to their “29 DimensionsTM of personality”. Many of the “87 people waiting to talk to me” were part of their “flexible matching” program which they explain as follows:

“From time to time, if no matches can be found for you, we will employ Flexible Matching. With Flexible Matching we temporarily relax the Match Selection criteria which you indicated are least important to you. This often allows us to find you more matches. Rest assured, we never relax our compatibility criteria because we know the key dimensions of compatibility are a crucial foundation for a happy, lasting relationship.”

I am not looking for quantity. I would rather have fewer matches who are actual matches than have a mailbox full of “matches” who aren’t, something I attempted to communicate to eHarmony. The selection process is the reason I joined eHarmony. And from the information in their profiles, I’m really stumped on how the matches still worked on the “key dimensions of compatibility” because I just didn’t see it. One final point, I have reset my settings several times and tried to turn off the flexible matching, but it doesn’t seem to be an option.